Essence of what now?!

Have you ever read a really, really ridiculous wine description?  I fear that's what keeps a lot of people from overcoming the "I like red vs. white" hurdle.  You know, those reviews where you read the whole "I recognize here a soupçon of fermented mushroom paste with a hint of elderberry bush with a side of" GIVE ME A BREAK.

My problems with this are....many:
1) Reviews are subjective to begin with.  Stop acting like they are definitive.

2) Reviews are suggestive, too.  People read the reviews, and say "Yes, I taste the lychee," when they may have never had a lychee in their lives.

3)  These descriptors make it difficult on those who can't taste the same thing.  I know I tend to worry sometimes "OMG what am I MISSING, I don't taste HAM."

4) It just reeks of elitism.

5)  Wine has definite flavor profiles.  Making them overly complex makes them accessible.

6)  It's extraordinarily easy to make fun of this part.  And it really sounds dumb.  Perhaps a new approach is needed.

You DON'T taste the hint of Twinkie FOR SHAME UGH.

Do you struggle with identifying flavors in your wine? Do RIDICULOUS reviews or descriptions irritate you as much as they irritate me?  Stay tuned.  I'm going to dedicate a future series of posts on how to identify major flavors in your wine--that way, when perusing the backs of wine bottles or checking out someone else's descriptions on those little placards in front of "featured" wines at the store, you won't be overwhelmed.